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Writer's pictureJen C

Grief and innocent Guilt

Have you experienced guilt with your grief? I have numerous times. I can’t seem to catch a break sometimes but it is getting easier.


Last week I went to lunch with my sister to our parents favorite Italian chain restaurant. It’s kind of a tradition when we’re missing them, when we’re all together as a larger group including our families and our brother, or sometimes we’re just craving the salad.


This last visit was different. In the car ride there we talked about Mom and Dad at length. We made it to the restaurant. For an entire hour we didn’t talk about them once. This is rare. We would always reminisce about family events at the chain or their favorite dishes. As we left I felt guilty. I enjoyed that meal and didn’t think of them once. I felt guilty. Shouldn’t I be paying tribute to them over a pasta dish? It sounds foolish and it is but I felt guilty. Then the sadness crept in. It didn’t last long. I find the sadness is easier to manage now.


It’s ok to not think about your loved one 24/7. It’s ok to remember good times and focus on them! I firmly believe that they would not want to see us so sad.

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